Comentários do leitor

worker money

por Michael Akin (2019-06-18)


This guy knew I was a sex worker. It says so, right within my Bumble profile: retired media whore, current actual whore. He had even commented onto it, using what every woman longs to hear from a romantic interest:'Haha, nice ;) '. And yet I watched as his face contorted into an expression of disgust, his upper lip curling as the fact of my profession came crashing down around him such as a tonne of bricks.

"That is clearly a lot," he said, and he then rolled on to his back and stared at the ceiling. I didn't hear from him again.

It often surprises people to hear that sex workers do a variety of normal people activities, like working other jobs, studying, taking the bins out. We exist in the real world after our shifts end and the red light is flicked off; we've dinner with this families and shop at K-Mart and wait on hold with your internet service providers for what feels as though hours.

It's not common that the physical and emotional experiences we have at the job will be enough to replace a possible insufficient intimate connection within our lives outside work; so many of us also date, with varied degrees of success.

A few months ago, I ended a relationship with a person I had been seeing for pretty much two years. In private, he was a huge supporter of me working, but around his colleagues and friends his tune did actually change. He would introduce me, but hesitate in describing our relationship; when he explained, "This really is Kate..." the silence that hung in the area where, "...my girlfriend," should have now been weighed a tonne.

I don't genuinely believe that he personally had a trouble with me being fully a sex worker, but I really do genuinely believe that the possibility of others judging me – and then judging him to be with me – was enough to make him want to help keep me a secret.

So I've recently downloaded some dating apps and put myself back on the proverbial market, but it's tough. Along with all the usual questions one ponders before a date (What do I wear? Where shall we go?) I find myself asking things such as, "At what point do we have the talk?"

The talk where I clarify my job, נערת ליווי אשדוד re-explain my profession just in case my date didn't read my Bumble bio, forgot what it said, or – worse – thought it had been a joke. Do I tell him when we meet, or before we say goodnight? Or do I throw it out randomly over the span of the evening: "Wow, this wine is delicious. In addition, I'm a hooker. Pass the salt?"

The greatest dream scenario is that my date is supportive, and happy that I've found a line of work that I love and supports me financially. Unfortunately, it has only happened once – once! – so nowadays, I find that most responses fall somewhere between abject fascination and outright objectification.

Sometimes I end up on the receiving end of one thousand rapid-fire questions ("What's the weirdest thing you've ever done at the office? Perhaps you have had a celebrity client? Are the people all old and ugly? They're not, like, normal guys like me, are they?") which is better than horrified silence, but leaves me feeling like I've just been interviewed for an hour.

Other times, my date can barely contain their disgust, quizzing me over and over again about how frequently I get my sexual health checks done and if I'm sure I'm not a carrier of some mutant strain of gonorrhoea.

"That's all well and good," one man said, over coffee, "But obviously if you went out with me, you'd have to obtain a real job. And you couldn't tell anyone we all know that you used to work." You ought to probably Google me before you receive too attached compared to that idea, I desired to sneer.

Of course, even the crudest line of questioning is a better case scenario compared to the very real threat of violence that numerous sex workers face when speaking about their job. I've friends who have been followed home and stalked by men who couldn't realize why their date with a sex worker didn't end with a romp, and others who've had partners show up at their work in a spontaneous fit of jealousy, viciously demanding they empty their locker and return home using them immediately.

And even that's better than the chance of physical violence from an intimate partner. I once went on a date with a man who invited me as much as his bedroom, held me down as he initiated sex without a condom, and then read one of my very own articles, about sex work, aloud in my experience as I lay silently next to him.

Dating isn't simple for anyone. Even the act of getting to distil your entire person into a short and snappy paragraph fit for a dating app will do to create anyone want to throw up their hands and surrender to a life of solitude.

Still, sexy2call I rely on love, and I understand from past experiences that relationships – when they're good – are worth every struggle.

On the times when it's all too much, I find myself thankful for the easy, stress-free nature of transactional sex. One hour on the clock and a peck on the cheek to say a fond goodbye until next time: if perhaps finding love was as simple.

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