Comentários do leitor

worker money

por Gemma Pitt (2019-06-18)


This guy knew I was a sex worker. It says so, right in my Bumble profile: retired media whore, current actual whore. He had even commented on it, using what every woman longs to know from a romantic interest:'Haha, nice ;) '. And yet I watched as his face contorted into an expression of disgust, his upper lip curling as the truth of my profession came crashing down around him like a tonne of bricks.

"That is a lot," he said, and then he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. I didn't hear from him again.

It often surprises people to listen to that sex workers do a number of normal people activities, like working other jobs, studying, taking the bins out. We exist in the real world after our shifts end and the red light is flicked off; we've dinner with this families and shop at K-Mart and wait on hold with our online sites providers for what feels like hours.

It's not common that the physical and emotional experiences we've at work would be enough to make up for a possible insufficient intimate connection in our lives beyond work; so many of us also date, with varied degrees of success.

A couple of months ago, sexy2call I ended a connection with a person I had been seeing for pretty much two years. In private, he was a massive supporter of me working, but around his colleagues and friends his tune seemed to change. He'd introduce me, but hesitate in describing our relationship; when he explained, "This really is Kate..." the silence that hung in the area where, "...my girlfriend," should have been weighed a tonne.

I don't believe that he personally had a trouble with me being fully a sex worker, but I really do believe that the likelihood of other people judging me – and then judging him if you are with me – was enough to create him want to keep me a secret.

So I've recently downloaded some dating apps and put myself back on the proverbial market, but it's tough. Along with all the current usual questions one ponders before a date (What do I wear? Where shall we go?) I find myself asking such things as, "At what point do we have the talk?"

The talk in which I clarify my job, re-explain my profession in case my date didn't read my Bumble bio, forgot what it said, or – worse – thought it had been a joke. Do I tell him the moment we meet, or before we say goodnight? Or do I throw it out randomly over the course of the evening: "Wow, this wine is delicious. In addition, I'm a hooker. Pass the salt?"

The greatest dream scenario is that my date is supportive, and happy that I've found a type of work that I love and שירותי ליווי אשדוד supports me financially. Unfortunately, it has only happened once – once! – so nowadays, I find that most responses fall approximately abject fascination and outright objectification.

Sometimes I end on the receiving end of a thousand rapid-fire questions ("What's the weirdest thing you've ever done at the job? Have you ever had a celebrity client? Are the inventors all old and ugly? They're not, like, normal guys like me, are they?") which is better than horrified silence, but leaves me feeling like I've just been interviewed for an hour.

Other times, my date can barely contain their disgust, quizzing me over and once more about how exactly frequently I get my sexual health checks done and if I'm sure I'm not just a carrier of some mutant strain of gonorrhoea.

"That's all perfectly and good," one man said, over coffee, "But obviously in the event that you sought out with me, you'd have to obtain a real job. And you couldn't tell anyone we realize that you used to work." You must probably Google me before you receive too attached to that idea, I desired to sneer.

Of course, even the crudest type of questioning is a better case scenario compared to very real threat of violence that lots of sex workers face when speaking about their job. I have friends who have been followed home and stalked by men who couldn't understand why their date with a sex worker didn't end with a romp, and others who've had partners arrive at their work in a spontaneous fit of jealousy, viciously demanding they empty their locker and return home with them immediately.

And even that is better the chance of physical violence from an intimate partner. I once proceeded a romantic date with a man who invited me as much as his bedroom, held me down as he initiated sex with out a condom, and then read certainly one of my own personal articles, about sex work, out loud to me as I lay silently next to him.

Dating isn't possible for anyone. Even the act of having to distil your entire person directly into a brief and snappy paragraph fit for a dating app will do to produce anyone wish to throw up their hands and surrender to a life of solitude.

Still, I believe in love, and I know from past experiences that relationships – when they're good – are worth every struggle.

On the times when it's all too much, I find myself thankful for the easy, stress-free nature of transactional sex. An hour on the clock and a peck on the cheek to state a fond goodbye until the next time: if perhaps finding love was as simple.

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