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Seven Reasons Why You Should Never Date a Divorced Woman

"Peggy Veal" (2019-10-23)


subject-file-foreign-business-countries-id="mod_23645520">Some time ago, I wrote an article titled "7 reasons why you shouldn't date a divorced man," and I must say I was overwhelmed with the amount of responses this article received. When I wrote it, I was writing it based on my own experience in that matter, and it was relieving to see that over 80% of people who read this were either in the same boat as me or agreed with me. So that in mind I decided to investigate the other side of the coin, seeing I received a lot of requests to write a rebuttal on this subject. So before you continue reading this article, flip over to this page, so you get the gist of why I'm writing this article.

So I went and did my research and asked various men if they would ever date a divorced woman, why or why not and here are the seven most common reasons why men should stay away from a divorced woman:

Possessiveness - Most divorced women are super ridiculously possessive. Since their marriage failed, they don't want a repeat performance, so they tend to assume the dominant role. So, they pick up a trick or two in their failed marriage and they use this to their advantage. Regardless of whether they or the spouse did the cheating, if infidelity was one of the reasons their marriage ended, then they will step up the game and make sure it doesn't happen again even if it means sticking to you like glue and watching you like a hawk. Every female is a threat to them. Some even go to the extent of hiring a private detective just to satisfy their paranoia.

It's always You Vs Ex - Divorced women NEVER get over their failed relationship no matter what. They may have the courage to say "oh I'm so over him," but in reality, the fact that they have "divorce" stamped on their life resume is very battering to every divorced woman. So even though you're the man in her life now, she will always find a way to differentiate you with the ex. Whether you're having a nice meal, she will unconsciously say "oh my ex hated mashed potatoes, so glad you like it," or you go shopping and she will say "my ex hated shopping." In the beginning of your relationship you won't notice it but gradually it becomes a pattern. "My ex did this, my ex hates/loves that, my ex is blah blah blah." If her ex has found happiness with someone else, it doesn't go down well with her. Even if she is happy with you, she will still want to find ways to infiltrate her ex's life as it hurts her badly that another woman is successful with the ex and not her.

You are a Pawn - No divorced woman wants to live in defeat and so in order for her to move on and try to "handle" her failure, she needs you to achieve her success plan. Remember, she is hurting from the loss of a marriage and since she can't just "revenge" without consequences, she needs to boost her ego and this is where you come in. You are the tool that shows she's moved on and she doesn't just take you as you are. She will dominate you, she will ensure she's the boss. At this point, she commences war with the ex (whether good or bad) and she will always want to show him that she is doing much better than him and sadly you are just a pawn in her deadly game.

You will say "I do" whether you like it or not. Unlike a divorced man who shuns the idea of marriage again, for a divorced woman it's the opposite. She doesn't want that divorced title for the rest of her life. She will find ways to get you to do the unthinkable of you dropping your sorry knee and asking her to marry you, because she's not having it being called a divorcee, and if you're dumb enough to succumb to that, then you've just reserved a VIP ticket in her hell.

You are more likely to be dumped -Statistics show that over 75% of divorces are initiated by the woman. So if you, as the replacement of her sorry ex, are not fulfilling the job requirements, you will be given the boot faster than the speed of light. Women today have more power to end relationships unlike in the past where a woman was stuck to her husband for life regardless of the state of the marriage. When she sees that your not giving her what she wants, or you're just not getting to the level she expects you to, then she will enforce a breakup as it makes her feel powerful and dominant.

Dating you is proof she's not damaged goods yet. A divorced woman wants to prove that it was not her fault the first marriage ended. So instead of swallowing her pride and just living the single life, most women bow to social pressure. If she is at a certain age (especially over 40) most people will associate her as either a lesbian, or a manipulative wicked witch with a "B", or a selfish pratt or a woman who can't keep a guy and all sorts of assumptions. Though this may not always be true, most divorcees can't handle the assumptions whether they are true or not. They don't want to be alone as they are not used to life alone. So dating you, for her, is a sense of achievement and purpose, as that is her sole aim, not love and all that crap.

The Kids - I saved this one for last as kids are the deciding factor for anyone who attempts to date a divorcee with kids. Unlike a divorced man with kids, for a divorced woman with kids, the story is slightly different. Statistics show that children are more likely to bond with a male partner of their mother than the female partner of their father. So chances are you will get along with her kids, but she will resent you for it because to her, her kids reference her as number one and nobody else is allowed to content for their affection. She will not let you take that title from her even if the kids are crazy about you. You will see that suddenly she becomes beyond irritable every time the kids say something positive about you. She gets super jealous because she feels you are taking her kids away from her. She actually loves it if the kids hate you so she can act as the mediator, the bringer of peace in the relationship.

So should you date a divorced woman? My advice is a super gigantic enormous big fat NO!! Regardless of whether it's a divorced man or woman, do not attempt to date them. For those of you that are already dating a divorced person and are happy with it, well good for you. But for those that are unhappy, or are attempting to date a divorced person, I urge you to flee as far away as you can. Yes single men and women all have their flaws but at least you are better equipped to handle their flaws than the flaws of divorced people.

After reading this, how likely are you to date a divorced person?

Hell Yes!

Maybe

Don't know

Hell No!
See results Ask an Expert: Will Men Date Divorced Women?
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sendingTired of Simpletons

11 months ago

Speak for yourself.


Insinsitive

12 months ago

Where I do agree overall that a lot of divorced people have issues because of the hurt caused by the other person, it still does not mean that they should be shunned by ever dating someone again. And that's how I felt that you presented your argument.

I believe that as long as God is working on the person who is divorced there can be major restoration of the person's heart and soul.

And to completely say they should be undateable is insensitive and quite frankly, ignorant on your part.

You may have experienced something ruff with the guy you dated who was divorced, but not all divorced men and women are the same. Just like never-been-married people, they all have flaws.

Just take a moment and ask yourself, are you undateable because of your past? Is there something you have done that should warrant never dating again?

Think about putting yourself in someone else's shoes before trying to tell others that they should not date someone just because of something they've gone through in their past.

If they have grown from the experience, especially putting their life in Christ's hands and have healed from the past, then they have just as much right to date/remarry as the next person.


andy

13 months ago

how are married people any different than people dating many years with same problems, each person different and ajusts to things different ways.


Led

13 months ago

Not even close to my personal experience


D F Cheshire

14 months ago from California

The skinny on dating for older divorced men and women. You can lie to yourself and tell others you are over your ex and that dating again will be a piece of cake.... WRONG .... I tried contacting old high school girl friends and had zero success. I tried Zoosk and Match and and had one decent date and the rest were all duds. Dating sites just sucked my wallet dry. There are so many women who look great and they know it so they can call the shots. But most women rarely even meet you for coffee as they love the attention but will make excuses to avoid going out.Those dating sites just want your money and if you get matched up the date is often over 100 miles away. My suggestion for men in love with their current girl...is to keep the romance alive and pay attention to her needs. Don't give her a reason to seek attention elsewhere. Because there are plenty of wife stealers on the prowl. Starting over in your 50's or 60's is just not fun..... it's hard work and a lot of one date and dones.


Vickrant mulay

14 months ago

Shouldn't be making assumptions, judgements just because u had a bad experience.


Marci

2 years ago

Just one question. How would you feel if you where divorced and somebody layed down these theories on you. Your obviously not divorced so I'd like to understand how you know so much about us divorcies and how we think. I guess your theories should only come from what you personally experience. Not generalisations. Maybe we where just unlucky meeting the wrong person. From my personal experience ive learnt to servive in a cold world where people lay judgment on you for being divorced. Has it ever accured to you that people who have struggled or experience hardship in their life are just generally looking for someone who cares about them without the judgement. If you turn your back on getting to know someone because they are divorced, you will always be the type to turn your back on anything that gets hard in a relationship even with dating someone who is single. Life isnt always perfect. Its important to be understanding and patient to see what that person is all about. Single people can have more serious issues than someone who is divorced. Ive overcome challenges but its made me a better person. Caring and understanding of others situations.All i can say is get to know that person and their story before judging them.




Preacher

2 years ago

Additionally to all of that, by the way, the Bible says that anyone who gets divorced and marries someone else commits adultery.


Sushmath

2 years ago

This is the perfect article. Reality is not sweet. I am an Indian living in Portland. I married a girl who was 23, lot of dreams coming from India. As soon as the college get started she started to have a thing for playboys in the college. She had a problem introducing me to her friends as her husband. It hit me when once when she was studying in the library and it was her birthday. I went to surprise her but saw him with a guy named M*k. I thought they were just friends studying hard late night. It was 11:50 and I thought I will surprise her. It was 12, then the guy started to touch her hair and started making out.

The flowers in my hand fell into the ground!! Depressed!! He lifted my wife right in front of me and carried her to restroom, while I Am at shock. I was soo in shock that I fell on the ground against the wall. Before I could recover they both come out of restroom, All their hair messed. Their satisfied faces tell me that everything had happened.

It took me months to realize this fact And I concluded that I will not be able to forgive. Their parents rushed to my house when they knew I had filed for divorce. I thanked them saying that they had given birth to a nice woman. They said that they will buy their son in law with their money if required. I think that's what they did.

1 year later I came to know she s still spying on me. She says her current partner who works in Microsoft (to make

Me jealous) and is not able to satisfy her and asks me to visit her. I still do not know what to do since I am still recovering from the shock and she expects me to visit her.

So the part about spying on ex is 100% true. I have moved on without a regre