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worker money

"Jimmy Brinkman" (2019-07-09)


This man knew I was a sex worker. It says so, right in my Bumble profile: retired media whore, current actual whore. He'd even commented about it, using the language every woman longs to listen to from a romantic interest:'Haha, nice ;) '. And yet I watched as his face contorted directly into an expression of disgust, his upper lip curling as the fact of my profession came crashing down around him just like a tonne of bricks.

"That is clearly a lot," he said, and then he rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling. I didn't hear from him again.

It often surprises people to listen to that sex workers do a number of normal people activities, like working other jobs, studying, taking the bins out. We exist in actuality after our shifts end and the red light is flicked off; we have dinner with our families and shop at K-Mart and wait on hold with this internet service providers for what feels as though hours.

It's not common that the physical and emotional experiences we have at work will be enough to replace a possible not enough intimate connection in our lives outside work; so many of us also date, with varied levels of success.

A couple of months ago, I ended a relationship with a person I have been seeing for nearly two years. In private, call girl he was a massive supporter of me working, but around his colleagues and friends his tune appeared to change. He would introduce me, but hesitate in describing our relationship; when he said, "This is Kate..." the silence that hung in the area where, "...my girlfriend," should have now been weighed a tonne.

I don't believe that he personally had a trouble with me being truly a sex worker, but I do think that the possibility of others judging me – and then judging him if you are with me – was enough to produce him want to help keep me a secret.

So I've recently downloaded some dating apps and put myself back on the proverbial market, but it's tough. Along with all the usual questions one ponders before a date (What do I wear? Where shall we go?) I find myself asking things like, "At what point do we've the talk?"

The talk by which I clarify my job, re-explain my profession just in case my date didn't read my Bumble bio, דירה דיסקרטיות forgot what it said, or – worse – thought it had been a joke. Do I tell him when we meet, or before we say goodnight? Or do I throw it out at random within the length of the evening: "Wow, this wine is delicious. By the way, I'm a hooker. Pass the salt?"

The ultimate dream scenario is that my date is supportive, and happy that I've found a type of work that I enjoy and supports me financially. Unfortunately, this has only happened once – once! – so these days, I find that many responses fall somewhere between abject fascination and outright objectification.

If you are you looking for more info about דירות דיסקרטיות stop by our own webpage. Sometimes I end on the receiving end of a lot of rapid-fire questions ("What's the weirdest thing you've ever done at the office? Have you ever had a celebrity client? Are the guys all old and ugly? They're not, like, normal guys like me, are they?") which is better than horrified silence, but leaves me feeling like I've just been interviewed for an hour.

Other times, my date can barely contain their disgust, quizzing me over and over again about how exactly frequently I get my sexual health checks done and if I'm sure I'm not just a carrier of some mutant strain of gonorrhoea.

"That's all well and good," one man said, over coffee, "But obviously in the event that you went out with me, you'd have to obtain a real job. And you couldn't tell anyone we know that you used to work." You ought to probably Google me before you obtain too attached to that particular idea, I desired to sneer.

Of course, even the crudest distinct questioning is really a better case scenario compared to the very real threat of violence that numerous sex workers face when speaking about their job. I have friends who've been followed home and stalked by men who couldn't understand why their date with a sex worker didn't end with a romp, and others who have had partners appear at their work in a spontaneous fit of jealousy, viciously demanding they empty their locker and return home together immediately.

And דירה דיסקרטיות even that is better the possibility of physical violence from a romantic partner. I once proceeded a romantic date with a person who invited me as much as his bedroom, held me down as he initiated sex with out a condom, and then read certainly one of my very own articles, about sex work, aloud to me as I lay silently next to him.

Dating isn't simple for anyone. Even the act of getting to distil your entire person in to a quick and snappy paragraph fit for a dating app is sufficient to make anyone desire to throw up their hands and surrender to a life of solitude.

Still, I believe in love, and I know from past experiences that relationships – when they're good – are worth every struggle.

On the occasions when it's all an excessive amount of, I find myself thankful for the simple, stress-free nature of transactional sex. An hour on the clock and a peck on the cheek to state a fond goodbye until next time: only if finding love was as simple.