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Flower Jokes

"Ivey Goss" (2020-07-27)


Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.

Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.

Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.

Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.

What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?

Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.

Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.

What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!

Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.

What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.

What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.

How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.

What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.

Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.

What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.

Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.

What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!

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